4.1k views
asked Apr 8, 2021 in Pregnancy Period General by Kari
I just found out today that we are having a boy, but I've always pictured myself with a girl. I feel disappointed and guilty for feeling this way. Is it wrong to feel sad about the gender of my baby? Also, considering my age (almost 35), how can I change my perspective on this situation?
Artificial Intelligence Health Assistant's Answer

It is completely normal to feel disappointed when the gender of your baby doesn't align with your expectations or desires. Gender disappointment is a common experience that many parents go through, and it does not make you a bad person or parent for feeling this way.

It's important to acknowledge and process your emotions rather than suppressing them. Talk openly with your partner or a trusted friend about how you're feeling. Sharing your thoughts and concerns can provide support and help alleviate any guilt you may be experiencing.

Remember that gender does not determine the love and connection you will have with your child. Boys can bring just as much joy, love, and fulfillment into your life as girls do. Take some time to reflect on what qualities and experiences you were looking forward to sharing with a daughter, and consider how those can still be enjoyed with a son.

As for trying again in the future, it's essential to approach the decision from a place of emotional readiness rather than solely focusing on gender preferences. Consider discussing these feelings with a therapist who specializes in reproductive issues or seek support from online communities where others share similar experiences.

Lastly, keep in mind that age should not define your ability to have children or impact the love you will give them. Many women successfully conceive healthy babies well into their late thirties or even forties. If you decide to try again, consult with your healthcare provider who can provide guidance based on your specific circumstances.

Ultimately, allow yourself time to process these emotions while also embracing the excitement and joy that comes with welcoming a new life into your family.

11 Answers

0 votes
answered Apr 8, 2021 by anonymous
How many kids/ boys u have ?
commented Apr 8, 2021 by anonymous
This is my first child
commented Apr 8, 2021 by anonymous
Dont be disappointed hun u been blessed with a special little man to come into your life, u can always have another baby after this little boy if all well. Take it from me I've had two still births before this pregnancy any gender baby is a blessing sweet heart love the precious little gift u have been given. Everyone had preferences to a sex they'd prefer but either way your baby will fill your life with love and happiness.
commented Apr 8, 2021 by anonymous
Thank you. I know its going to be great. I know that. Its just hard. thank you.
–1 vote
answered Apr 8, 2021 by Omg
Be happy god gave you a child at all, if you were trying for 10 years you wouldnt care for the gender. Count your blessings
commented Apr 8, 2021 by anonymous
Actually we were trying for 4 and a half years, but thanks for your concern
commented Apr 8, 2021 by anonymous
I'm expecting my second child. I already have a son. Was hoping this would be a girl but God knows best. In fact, I found myself doing the exact things you were doing but I prayed because I was overly anxious. And weeks before the anomaly test, I felt some peace within my heart. I'll tell you what my gynea said. He said, " God knows you can handle 2 boys. Reason he's given you 2 boys".
God knows what's best for you reason he's given you a boy. You wait and see, he'll fill your life with so much sunshine. Enjoy your baby now and when he's born. All the best
commented Apr 9, 2021 by Dallas
.. I have pcos  and I had tried to conceive for years to 15 in total.. then at 35 I decided to not torture myself over the fact that I wasn't able to conceive... I will be turning 40 in June..  and I am 17 wks pregnant..  big shock.. I told my dr not to tell me the gender bc I wanted to be surprised.. I want the fullest experience I can have.. i am also going to see if I can have a home  birth.. take every feeling and memory  from this for myself .. I have also decided to ask about getting my tunes tied sometime after the birth..  I don't want to be surprised at 45!.. the bond between  a mother and son is an amazing one..  when u see him. For the first time.. all that will go away and you will be over joked..  besides if yiur like me you already love them unconditionally.. and we never know what the future holds..
commented Apr 18, 2021 by anonymous
Exactly
I tried for 8months and God has blessed me, I'm 11 weeks tmoro, I'm feelimg it's a girl bt I pray it's a boy, but either one I get atlast I'll be happy... Besides this is my first and I'll still have more. Be happy my friend.
0 votes
answered Apr 8, 2021 by Laurenomelia
It's okay to have feelings no matter what they are.  Allow yourself to feel that sadness, then go out and buy some adorable boys clothes, trust me they are so cute! It will probably make you feel a bit better.  And know that boys are sweet and so super special. I have a son who is 13 now and he makes me laugh every day and is one of the most generous and kind people I know. He would give the shirt off his back. One year, he kept giving away all his Halloween candy to other kids passing by.   Trust me, when he is here all of that disappointment will melt away and you will be amazed at how much you fall in love with him.  
0 votes
answered Apr 8, 2021 by Kristina Marie
Hey girl! I have ovarian problems and have had ovarian surgery due to them and at 26 yo. I was told bc of all the scarring I would never be able to have kids...At 27 yo. I got pregnant with the love of my life and BEST friend I could have EVER asked for...my son! He is now 7 and given me meaning to my life and made me who I am. He is not only the love of my life and BEST friend, but he is my BIGGEST fan and protector!  I have been trying for the past 5 years to get pregnant and just as my fiance and I were undergoing testing for IVF God blessed us and on my 36th birthday (10/19/2020), I got pregnant with my 2nd miracle! We swore up and down it was a girl and even called her by her name....at my 10 week blood testing and genetic tests we found out that it's ANOTHER baby boy. At 1st I felt a little sadness and was down bc I was wrong, but a few mins later I started to cry bc after trying for so0o0 long I could care less what my miracle is....I just want a happy and healthy baby and so far, I have been blessed with just that! He is growing so good and I have talks with him all the time while he's hiccups and kicking and he follows my hands around when I place them on my belly. God sent you a baby boy to take over your heart and ABSOLUTELY change your world and life for the BEST and to be your little right hand man and BIGGEST fan and protector EVERRRR! I honestly can't even imagine even having a girl now bc my 2 boys are my WORLD! God KNEW they're what I NEEDED in life and I am so blessed to be their Mommy. I hope this can help you even in the slightest bit. Good luck to you and your precious, sweet boy!
0 votes
answered Apr 9, 2021 by anonymous
Its normal! I was convinced this was a girl too. Scan showed boy and I didn't know how to feel. We lost a baby boy last year and I think a girl would have been easier as it was the opposite sex but now I think that I'm being given back what was taken from me. I found when I bought some cute little clothes and bits it helped me a lot. 
0 votes
answered Apr 9, 2021 by Anonymous
Girl, I have 5 boys!! 

Boys are great and I'm a young mum and always wanted a girl but u know what, there are people out there that can't have kids and that upsets me so be greatful-you're one of the people that can have kids
0 votes
answered Apr 9, 2021 by anonymous
I have 4 boys all of them stole my heart, this time round found out were having a girl. We did think last baby was a girl but he was a beautiful baby boy, we lost him at 9 days old, all of my children have always been a blessing but now each second is more precious than ever. This baby girl after 4 boys is what we say God blessed us with so her big brothers here on earth and her big brother in heaven are all watching over her. U may be a bit disappointed after thinking your baby was a girl for so long, but hunky trust me soon as your baby boy is in your arms u will feel a love so powerful it will take your breathe away xxx
0 votes
answered Apr 15, 2021 by anonymous
Dear God gave you a baby so please say thank you to God so many people are suffering a lot without baby you are so blessed with boy baby. Your baby is going to rock this world njoy your pregnancy days.
0 votes
answered Apr 17, 2021 by (7 points)
First and foremost congratulations, but no this is very normal and trust me I know how you feel. I just gave birth to my daughter in January of this year. When we found out it was a girl we were over the moon because I already have a boy and always dreamed of having a girl. I am 40 years old and will be 41 next month. I just found out yesterday that I am once again pregnant. In fact this is my 3rd pregnancy in 16 months. We are worried that it will be a boy ourselves because I just had a girl and we feel like we got lucky with our daughter. If we find out we are having a boy we are both going to be very disappointed as well. Its perfectly normal to be disappointed but when you see ur sons face for the first time you will be over the moon with joy. Even though you are 35 there is still time for you to have another if you decide you want to wait. We tried as soon as I got my period for the first time since giving birth and I became pregnant right away. They say it's easier to get pregnant right after giving birth. We were running out of time so had to start trying immediately but I am living proof that becoming pregnant after 35 or even 40 isn't impossible 
0 votes
answered Apr 19, 2021 by Dianna
This feeling is completely normal! 

When I went through my second pregnancy I was hoping and praying and wishing for a girl to be born first! 

When 16 weeks rolled around and they told me it was a boy I litetally started to cry! It hurt me so much, but I have learned to love my little Matthew for who he is. In fact, I learned to love his brother who is only 11 months younger than him as well. And you will, too. ❤

I'm now on my 5th pregnancy, and hopefully 3rd baby, and we are desperately hoping for our little girl, but we already have a nice little name if it turns out to be another little boy. 
0 votes
answered Apr 19, 2021 by NETTA
Awww it's going be alright, you'll love him just the same.  Trust Me. Boys are adorable. That mother and son bond is AMAZING, especially when he's older. They are very very protective of their mothers. I have 5 son's and a daughter and another son on the way. My oldest 2 are 20 and 18.

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