How to ensure well-behaved kids while eating out?

Question

My wife and I have been taking our young kids out to restaurants in the hopes of teaching them appropriate behavior. While my oldest son (4) enjoys a particular restaurant, both he and my youngest (2) tend to get restless, constantly moving around, talking to people, and making frequent trips to the restroom. Disciplining them only seems to make matters worse. What are some effective strategies for getting children to behave properly at a restaurant? Is there a solution other than avoiding dining out altogether?

Answer 1

First question: HOW do you discipline? We have one that listens and one that is the incarnation of stubborn, and we find that One-Two-Three magic works for both, so long as we're consistent.

We also go over our restaurant rules on the way there, or while waiting, or when we get seated (or sometimes all three), and remind them of consequences ("if we get to three, we will leave and won't come back," for example). Once a consequence has been breached, we follow through, and recidivism is pretty much at 0% for the same offense. :)

If they LIKE going to restaurants, having to leave due to bad behaviour makes a much larger impression than just plain ol' getting in trouble and a later consequence.

And for the sake of the non-small-human set out there, we try to go to places where our kids are welcome, and we go fairly early (before the sets of people without small humans in tow show up). And because our younger child is still very messy, we leave a clean-up tip as well. Good behaviour on the part of the kids + consistent discipline on the part of the parents + a good tip = a restaurant that's always welcoming to our family.

Answer 2

I know this will not be a popular option, but when we go to my daughter's favorite place we allow her to use "her phone" (aka my old phone) that has age-appropriate games and videos on it IF she behaves and AFTER she finishes her meal, (and while her parents play Buzztime trivia.) For those rare times she does begin to misbehave - usually because it is too crowded or too loud - we tell her that if she can't behave properly we won't be coming back. We also try not to stay as long during these times.

This is one of those things I said I would NEVER do before I was a mom. I've found that you learn to adjust those expectations.