Should I be concerned about my 1-year-old moving in with a man I've never met?

Question

About 8 months ago, my child's mother and I separated amicably. Recently, she informed me that she is moving in with her new boyfriend of 3 months, who is a policeman. As a father, I feel it is important to know this man and verify his identity before my daughter lives with him. Additionally, I worry about the potential impact on my child if their relationship doesn't work out. Are these concerns valid? How should I address them?

Answer 1

I suggest you invite the guy out for a beer to get to know him. Make it clear that you are not jealous, that you wish them well, and that the only thing you care about his how he treats your daughter and her mother. Your concern for her mother is exactly that, concern for your daughter's mother. Not concern for your ex.

There's a lot of crappy stuff in this world and your daughter having another person who cares for her and looks out for her is a good thing.

Answer 2

Communication is key. I believe you should talk to your ex-partner and see if/when you could come by for a visit to get to know him. It's the adult thing to do.

If you regularly go to pick up your daughter that may be a good time to take a few extra minutes to talk to the guy and get to know him a bit as well.

If you are an extremely concerned parent you could also have a background check run on the guy. But personally I'd only go that far if you get a weird vibe from him after meeting in person.